If you read my post about my lovely Grandma a couple of days ago, you’ll understand that life is tinged with sadness for us right now.
On Friday evening I went to the hospital to see her and told her I love her one last time. Walking away from someone you love and know you’ll never see again is utterly devastating. She could not speak and I know not if she heard me, all I can hope is that she knows she will always be loved.
In total contrast to this impending grief my days have been filled with planning Big E’s 3rd birthday party. I’m lost in a sea of presents, recipes, streamers, paper plates and party bags. He’s so excited and can’t wait to see his little friends on Sunday.
I thought about cancelling, but after seeking guidance from my family decided the best thing to do was carry on. Big E is looking forward to it and has spoken of nothing else for days. He doesn’t know or understand why Mummy keeps crying. His selfless innocent hugs are more appreciated than ever.
My breaking heart is bursting with love. Love for a woman I am losing, love for a family united, and love for a son and daughter who are growing so fast.
This strange juxtaposition of grief waiting to happen and birthday excitement is confusing.
Tell someone you love them today. Sometimes the words come easily, but it’s when they are hard to say that they mean the most.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
The waiting is the hardest part, take it from someone that knows. I think you are doing the right thing regarding the birthday. I am thinking of you and sending Hugs your way. Be Well
My heart goes out to you.
Be brave, enjoy the party and grieve.
Big Hugs
BNM
I'm glad you got to make the visit. That last sentence rung a bell with me, thanks. Enjoy your party and take strength from the happiness of your little one.
I'm so sorry about your grandmother.
Sweetie- I can do no more than send you hugs, but know that I am thinking of you. Being a mum is so much harder than anyone ever tells you. As is growing older xxx
It is a cliche, but life goes on. Remember to take care of yourself too x
Those times of joy and sorrow and so very difficult to manage. Thinking of you…
I can remember feeling all those things when my father was dying, as I was only about 4 weeks pregnant with my lovely child. Sadness and joy is a strange mix to deal with.
Be strong.
x
without the tears of sadness, we wouldn't know what happiness was. Keep on keeping on with the rest of life. The birthday party for a 3 year old is as big to them as losing someone so special is to you.
My biggest *hugs* for you and I also send a bucket of strength, a box of understanding xx
Ps I just told my family I love them – thank you for your post xxx
Hi, Saundra here! This is a good family network. I need to know more family oreinted blogs my blog is Womens Maternity New Baby, and I have more questions than answers. I'd like to do a post about, "grief is always very hard."
thinking of you and sending hugs many.
I am sure she heard you. Hope the party goes well. Your Gran would want the youngest generation to carry on celebrating how special they are. Thining of you.
It seems that whatever goes on in your life, your child's life still seems the same to them. You're right to do the party, I'm sure that's what your Gran would have wanted. Hugs xxx