I’m angry.
Angry with life for being so hard. Angry with friends for being so scarce. Angry with my bank account for being so empty. Angry with the house for being so ramshackle.
I’m angry with everyone and everything, without reason or provocation.
But most of all?
Most of all I am angry with myself for being so damned angry. I’m angry at myself for putting on my brave faced facade and not letting my feelings go. I’m angry with myself for not having the wherewithal and gumption to be everything I want and need to be.
I know it’s part of the grieving process and these feelings are irrational.
This dark introspectiveness will pass. It has to. Soon.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Don't be so hard on yourself- it's OK to be angry. Sending you lots of positive thoughts.
Grief does terrible things to our insides and outside. It can be so hard to just get through the day sometimes. I am sure you are all you need to be. Take a step back and just breath.
I'm sorry you are feeling down. Its a typical mummy thing to do – be angry with ourselves for being angry. Take it easy and be nice to yourself for a few days. Hope you feel better very soon. xx
Ooh, don't be too hard on yourself, darling. Life will be difficult so soon after losing your gran. You have a right to be angry. It's good to let it out here. Be angry. Don't take it out on yourself. Go with it, shout, scream and punch a few cushions. How you are feeling is completely normal under the circumstances. Hugs x
((hugs)) to you my sweet. Sometimes anger is good. We shouldn't be afraid it. It can be cleansing and transformative. Let yourself be angry, it will pass and you will come out the other side. New and stronger and clearer in your thinking.
Here for you till it does xxxx
Hug to you.
Oh lovely I wish I could wave a wand and make it all better – in the absence of being able to do that am sending you virtual hugs …
Being angry is ok. It's a real emotion, and we all experience it. Don't be so hard on yourself. At least you've vented. Here. That's a good thing. Take care and hope things look brighter soon. x
Sometimes I feel so angry and I don't even know why. I think it is because I feel overwhelmed and I am trying to fight that feeling.
Let it out, I say.
Hope you are feeling better now. Thinking of you!