Any parent of a toddler or pre-schooler is well versed in the language of tantrum. In a world where everything is bigger and scarier than you and you don’t yet have the ability to vocalise properly, sometimes the only way you can express a fear is to scream.
Today my not quite 3 year old son was asked to leave the hairdressers mid haircut.
Big E is petrified of having his haircut. He screams and cries his way through. Either me or his Daddy hold him to reassure him and keep him still but every time he catches sight of those scary scissors the pandemonium begins again.
We’ve been using the same hairdresser for the last 12 months. The staff are usually very accommodating and patient. Today all that changed.
We could only get him booked in for 8am this morning. We’d had to cancel an appointment earlier in the week and this was the only one available before his birthday party. He was in dire need of a cut, so we booked him in.
The usual set of circumstances happened. He was difficult and terrified and screamed and cried. My husband noted the usual head shakes, tutting and speaking in hushed tones from the other customers. Then the totally unexpected happened.
The manager told the hairdresser to stop cutting Big E’s hair and said he would cut the hair over Big E’s ears. After that Big E and my husband would have to leave with the hair cut half done.
The hairdresser protested that she was happy to carry on and that Big E couldn’t leave with literally only one side of his hair cut. The manager overruled and said no. Over the ears, that’s it.
So, my husband who was already embarrassed HAD TO PAY for the haircut (I kid you not) then did a walk of shame in front of the other customers and quietly left.
Now, I’m sure the manager was under pressure from other customers. I imagine they didn’t want their peaceful pampering interrupted by a screaming child,
BUT:
My child is a human being. He is not yet 3 and he really is scared of the scissors. What are we supposed to do? We try everything possible to calm him down so he doesn’t disturb others. We have used every trick in the book. How can you control fear like that?
We do not just let him run amok. We teach him right from wrong, try to reason with him and even use bribery as a last resort.
Would you leave a hairdressers with only half your haircut?
Should we never darken any hairdressers door again?
Hardly.
Just to add to traumatise Big E a little more we took him to my husband’s hairdresser. This time they were tolerant and reassured us that it is a perfectly normal reaction for a child his age to have to having his hair cut and clipped.
It’s not perfect, but it’s done.
I feel embarrassed and upset that people can react to a screaming child in such a way. I just don’t understand how people can sit in judgement. Why is their time and space anymore important than his?
I have two appointments booked at the offending hairdressers which I will not be attending. If my son’s custom is not good enough for them then neither is mine.
My family felt like second class citizens today.
How do you deal with situations like this? Have you ever been asked to leave somewhere with your children? Do you have a child who is afraid of having their hair cut?
Please reassure me that his fear is normal?
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That has never happened to me but I haven't taken Little Miss A to the hairdresser yet (too scared of her acting up). However I would put in a complaint to your local paper. That hairdresser has no right to scare your child of the hairdresser even more and deserves to be humiliated with bad press themselves. I'm disgusted at their behavour I really am
Oh my god! That is appalling behaviour, and I mean the manager not your little one! My son used to be frightened of the hairdressers and used to scream and scream. I'd hold him under my arm like a roll of carpet and the hairdresser would clip his hair and I'd pay quickly and leave but never because I was made to feel bad by the hairdresser. It was the hairdryer noise he was afraid of. I think they definitely deserve some bad press.
I just remembered, I did actually get kicked out of a charity shop because my son was having a tantrum. The manager actually picked him up and deposited him on the pavement outside which I was livid about but too shocked to do anything but skulk away home and cry.
I am absolute appalled. I have taken both my boys to a hairdresser since being tiny and yes, neither of them have short hair, but they do have it cut. We have had tears, screaming, refusals and all of that too, but she just carries on regardless.
None of the customers where we go would say anything. I wouldn't have paid and I also would name and shame and issue a letter of complaint.
I have only ever been really upset like this and it was in M&S when an old lady told me that MaxiMad belonged in a home, as he was far too loud. I was so upset I burst into tears and the customer assistant who heard took her to one side and made her apologise.
If the leter gets you no where then ring the local rag.
I've registered my disgust at the manager elsewhere today but just want to add…
YOU PAID FOR IT???? Seriously I'd have told them where to stick it, no hair cut no money. Tossers!
Hope Big E has a fab party tomorrow. xx
That must have been awful for your little boy, husband and you – and was very very wrong – I am upset on your behalf – very
and seriously 8am – hardly peak hairdesser time :s
I'm with the name and shame in the local paper thing. That is appalling. I would like to think that I wouldn't have paid but I am always such a baby about these things and would rather keep the peace.
That's awful! I agree that a letter to the local paper is in order.
I've never taken Rosemary to a hairdresser, though I really should, as my cutting skills are sadly lacking and her hair just looks like a big mess these days.
I got told to 'keep that child still' at a railway station once. The guy had apparently not slept for 24 hours, but how he expected to get peace and quiet in a busy station, I don't know. And he obviously had no experience of small children, if he imagined it would be possible to keep a 2-year-old still!
I really like the name and shame idea – write to your local paper, and if the hairdresser's you were at is a chain make a complaint to their head office. I am sure you could have them on some sort of equality and diversity law, after all a child is a child, this is how they behave, treating them as if they are different or of less value than another human being is wrong.
I totally sympathise. I got really cross in the hairdressers recently when I overheard our hairdresser complaining to her client whilst we were waiting that she had to cut a toddler's hair next and it wasn't what she came into the job for! I was livid. We haven't been back there.
This is disgusting. I can't believe you were treated like this.
Definitely write to your local paper – they should not be allowed to get away with such appalling behaviour and should be publicly shamed for it.
Poor E
Hope he has an absolutely fabulous birthday to make up for it.
And Kai is going to have to have hair down to his knees because there is no way we will manage a hair cut without a good deal of screaming and thrashing!!
oh my god. I would definatley be going to the local paper, thats disgusting. I would probably refused to leave and made a scene. Would not be paying either.
If it is a chain i think you should make a formal complaint to head office.
Glad you found someone else to cut it in time for the party.
oh boy, poor you! and your husband, and big E!
well, I left with only half a haircut for my 18 month old. He didn't like strangers, people touching him, the weird hairdressers etc.
It was under my volition that we left, though, I just thought if he's in that bad a state he'll loose and ear and never ever want it done.
Here's what I did. did it at home myself with a Thomas the Tank engine DVD on the telly and bribed him with choc. Not the best haircut ever, but good enough. Not tantrum, no truama, and lots of positive things to really praise him about. Also, get your husband to take him with him when he's having a haircut, so he can see what happens and that it's ok. This will give him some positive experiences about haircuts.
Also, and most importantly, never set foot in that awful hairdressers again! what a bunch of expletives! You are absolutely right to feel like you did about it. They can stick their tuts up their behinds, frankly. Maybe in a few months, you could try you husbands barbers again, instead.
That is bloody disgusting, I'm shocked and annoyed for you. I can just imagine how embarrassed you must have felt. I haven't taken either of mine to a hairdresser yet, but know from experience with Chrissy (2) that they don't like a hair cut-she has had that many wonky fringes to testify to that! I wouldn't have paid them to be honest, especially not for a full cut- and I'd write to my local paper, to warn other parents against getting ripped off. As for your appointments, firstly it's a pain in the rear once you've found a hairdresser you like to have to change, but I would ring them and tell them exactly why you are canceling, or better yet, go in and loudly tell them so they can lose some more customers!
That is dreadful – I can't believe they asked you to leave. Pathetic – they should be the professionals giving you advice and trying to help. We are lucky enough to have not encountered this particular fear so I cannot really offer any helpful advice – other than to perhaps find someone who will come and cut the hair at home – distract with a favourite DVD and try to overcome the trauma that way? Good luck and hope party makes up for it.
I can't believe they expected you to pay. That's ridiculous! If they are happy enough to take your money for a toddler's haircut, they have to be ready to deal with what cutting a toddler's hair may mean.
I would definitely write a letter of complaint to the hairdressers, not an irate rant, just state why you feel you have been mistreated. Definitely write to your local newspaper.
Have you thought about using a mobile hairdresser in future? Having a haircut in your own home where your son can be distracted with toys etc. may be less traumatic for him.
I'm so sorry you went through that. How horrible doing a "walk of shame."Been there, done that too. You know when I was a kid I was the same was–went to this guy's shop who ended up snipping my ears far to many times. Even drawing blood. The place was called "tatty Heads!" in London. Ugh. Funny now but not at the time. My mother had to contend with my protests all too often.
This is just awful – don't consider it the walk of shame – they don't deserve the respect that might imply.
I would be fuming, absolutely hopping mad – if you left with your dignity intact – very well done – I would have gone ballistic and completely shown myself up.
I recommend a home visit by a mobile hairdresser – we did it for years. Daughter came with me if I went to the hairdressers but had hers cut at home by a friend that was a hairdresser. She wasn't ready to brave the hairdressers chair until she was about 6.
PS my friends own child also had his hair cut at the same time and he always screamed the house down and it was his dad cutting!!!
Your child is not unusual, the hairdresser was -I would name and shame then to as many local mums as you can.
x
That's terrible. They should either not have started it or finished the job properly. And charging you at the end of it? Terrible.
WOW! how insane! I agree about writing to your local paper! I'd be SO ticked. your child is really still a baby. It's SO common for toddlers to be terrified of haircuts. I have a 3.5 year old nephew who walks around with 'chunky' hair all the time because even though his aunt is a hairdresser and cuts his hair at her home, they still give up before it looks as good as it 'should' because he is so scared and they end up deciding it's not worth putting him through any more stress that they just give in. he always has patches of long hair real close to his ears that are WAY longer than the rest because they are afraid of snipping the edges of his ears if he jerks.
such terrible service! even if it was midday and it was crowded and say they had another customer losing his cool with the manager over your child's cries, so that the manager might have felt like he HAD to get you guys out of there – they should ahve at LEAST allow you to get out of there without paying. I'd be telling everyone I knew and having a mini boycott. haha.
I totally left a comment here yesterday – hmph. Bloomin' blogger!!! Anyway, can't remember exactly what my masterpiece said but it was something along the lines of – don't worry, Edie was exactly the same. In fact, when we first took her to the hairdressers she actually hit the hairdresser and we had to leave (we weren't ask to go we were just so embarrassed and decided it was best to leave it until another time)! Which we did – and she was much better – we explained about big girls didn't hit hairdressers!!! And when we promised her a treat, she suddenly became brave! If I were you I would write a letter of complaint to the hairdressers…and all it makes me think is that they obviously don't have children of their own! xx
that is absolutely outrageous can't believe they asked you to leave and still made you pay for half a cut, name and shame all the way.
I always have a hairdresser come to the house to do mine and my daughters hair, maybe Big E may feel more comfortable in his own surroundings.
Big hugs hun xxx
just found this because i was googling toddler hair cuts. i give up with mine. i have been trying to trim it but it's got so long that it's really tough. unfortunately i don't live in a chi chi enough part of town to have a kids' hairdresser near by. what to do?
your experience sounds awful. i remember my brother being afraid of hair cuts so i'm anxious to avoid that for mine.
To make you feel better-it takes 2 grown men to pin my son down for a haircut and he is nearly 3 and 1/2! Never have we been asked to leave! Disgusting! You are not the only one-it makes me feel such a failure!