I’m ‘The Ginger Kid’.
The girl at school who was defined by the colour of her hair. The butt of seemingly endless jokes and subject of nasty songs.
The girl who whilst shopping in town had her hair pulled by random strangers who hissed ‘Ginger Nut’, on more than one occasion.
The woman who whilst walking down the street has been the subject of verbal abuse shouted from passing cars.
The woman who sat in the office seething with quiet anger while colleagues made ‘ginger jokes’.
The woman who people ask, “Does the collar match the cuffs?”, and seem to think it’s an acceptable question.
As a 34 year old woman I expected to be at a stage in my life where I am no longer the subject of cruel jokes about the colour of my hair. When in the company of grown, intelligent adults this form of school yard bullying should be a thing of the past, but sadly it is not.
As a redhead I’m expected to take the ‘fun making’ on the chin. Yet somehow, in our society, it is totally acceptable to bully and ridicule redheads. We’re supposed to laugh at the cruel jokes, after all it’s only a bit of fun. Isn’t it?
No. It isn’t.
Just yesterday Tesco in York removed some Christmas cards from their shelves that contained the slogan:
“Santa loves all kids. Even the ginger ones.”
They’re ‘still deciding’ whether to remove them from all their stores and the company who manufacture the cards has declined to comment.
How can we teach our children to have a positive body image and try to stamp out bullying when a product like this is seen as acceptable? If the card referred to the colour of a child’s skin as opposed to their hair then there would be absolute outrage. Yet ‘gingerism’ is a perfectly acceptable ‘sport’ and it’s always open season.
When my son was born I’m ashamed to say I was relieved his hair wasn’t red. It was a weight off my mind knowing that he wouldn’t be bullied for being ‘ginger’. Then Little E came along. She has beautiful light strawberry blonde hair. I’m not sure yet how red it will turn out to be but I fear for her.
I fear she will have to go through life constantly laughing off the jibes of bullies like I have, simply because she was born with red hair. I worry how it will affect her body image, her self esteem and even her prospects.
How can I protect her? I just don’t understand this strange prejudice.
Why is the bullying of redheads so commonly accepted?
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you know what – I really , really don't understand – in fact, Tim Minchin wrote a very interesting take on it – he to has red hair…see I would LOVE red hair, but I don't understand the almost racism in a way – i suppose its just because it isn't as usual as brown or black – but why would you want to be? So sorry hon, that this happens, that it continues – and have put a link to the song here to hopefully cheer you up – *hug* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1HXmYkxwSE
(he can be a little over the top – but i hope it makes you smile, at least a little)
They ran an item about this on Matt Cooper's radio show on Today FM yesterday evening here in Ireland, with a redhead invited to comment who ironically turned out to be a dye-job. There was some feeling that redhead bullying is less common in Ireland, where the hair colour is more common, and that in the UK it may be based on class and race prejudice. It wasn't said in so many words but the implication was that red hair may have become associated with poor Irish and Scots immigrants in England and the prejudice towards them. (The stereotype of the red-haired Jew is doubtless also in the mix somewhere.) The dye-job makes a different point: people who aren't red-heads often choose to become so because it is more unusual and visually striking. As children people get picked on for standing out, but as adults they may see it as an advantage.
Whatever, I still can't believe Tescos thought it was ok to commission that card in the first place.
13% of Scots are redheads, which puts us at the top of the world ginger league. I tend to agree with Dot that the industrial revolution, the creation of the working poor and mass immigration from Ireland to England is probably the root of this prejudice. It's really not so bad up here. My son is a strawberry blonde, I dye my hair red and the only torag who goes around calling everyone "ginger" has the brightest read hair in the village. Go figure!
I have the most beautiful Neice who is 4 and is a red head, she is adorable, but my mother insists on calling it strawberry blond, in stead of ginger or red to make herself happy. She is wonderful, her hair is wonderful and I dont want her to grow up being bullied. Children wouldn't know that red hair is an issue, if adults didn't make it an issue. You are not born discriminated, you are turned that way by your peers and role models.
So I would never ever say anything horrible about red heads, it is not in my nature, but god help anyone that does in front of me, as I am very protective of my family.
The card should be removed. DS2 wears specs that doesn't make him an open target for bullying, so neither should the colour of anyones hair
That Christmas card is shocking and I can't believe it still hasn't been fully withdrawn. One of my oldest best friends has ginger hair and has largely approached it with humour although it must have been hard for her at times (as it clearly has been for you). Her daughter (my goddaughter) has gorgeous thick long ginger hair. My second son is strawberry blonde like your Little E. I suppose children are ready to pick on anything that stands out as a physical characteristic, eg glasses, freckles, skinny, fat. And they need to be taught it's unacceptable, society isn't doing a very good job though.
Ginger-bashing is absolutely awful and I can't for the life of me understand it! Most red hair is gorgeous and I'd love to have an unusual colour, instead of my boring black.
A colleague of mine had a subtle reddish tint put in her hair and the next day our (very pervy) IT man yelled out, in front of the entire office, "Hey, ginger minge!"
How is that okay?!
I hope your beautiful Little E doesn't have to deal with any of this rubbish!
x
My beautiful son has ginger hair. Its light, strawberry blonde type hair, and I am SICK of people having a go at him. I'm SICK of people disrespecting him and me when I politely ask them to stop. I get SICK of my own sister having a go at him about it, and brushing it off when I tell her to stop. I am SICK of the same sister deciding that it's OK to tease me about my son's 'bloodnut' ways… she would be deeply offended if I mentioned her daughters weight… why is this different?
He is a child, a beautiful child with feelings, emotions, and a lot to offer, why should he be summed up by his hair?
Those cards are appalling.
…and here endith my little rant!
you're right, it is largely considered acceptable and it's awful. Nearly every red haired guy i know has shaved their hair off as an adult because they just can't take the jibes and many red headed girls I know dye it to hide it.
I'm sorry you have had to live with this prejudice all your life. What themadhouse says is true, like all discrimination children learn it form their elders. I know of several teachers who let these jokes and jibes slide when i was at school, it wasn't deemed real bullying because it was just a joke, the poor person on the end of them was just supposed to grin and laugh it off. What a thing to teach kids, eh?
I think redheads have a beautiful coloured hair! I spent most of my teenage years trying to dye my hair that colour!!
It is wrong for people to be bullied because of the colour of their hair! And totally unacceptable of those cards to encourage such bullying!
April – I don't understand it either. I shall have a look at Tim Minchin's take in a little while. Thanks for commenting
Dot – Very intersting that the radio an a story and quite amusing that the 'redhead' turned out not to be a natural. I have Scottish ancestry and my primary school form tutor always referred to me as a Celt which never bothered me one bit.
Mrs W – I think I'd fit right in in Scotland! I wonder how many people who find it acceptable to make 'ginger jokes' understand why they have this prejudice? I expect it's mostly learned behavior.
The Mad House – Yep, I agree we're not born with the prejudices, we're taught them. It's a real shame. I feel helpless knowing that I'm probably totally powerless to prevent my children from being picked on about their hair colour. The adults have to stop passing the prejudices on before it will ever stop.
Emily O – Glad that your friend approaches it with humour. I think when it's something that follows you through life, whereever you go, then that is *the* only way to go. I sometimnes find the only way to make people realise (especially at work) is to 'laugh' along with them which often shames them into squirmimg.
Little Wing – That's the kind of comment that is common place for me. As an adult it's open season all the time. I've had emails circulated at work (with me cc'd in) about me being ginger. But it's OK 'cause it's just a bit of fun……?!?
Nomie – You rant away! I'm SICK of it too. I've learned to cope but our children should have to 'cope'.
xxxxx
Nomie – That should say 'shouldn't' have to cope…..had to rescue a nappy disaster!
Heather – I've never purposefully tried to cover my hair colour. Have had highlights and once a richer red full head colour but never gone blonde or brunette. I like my hair
. Yes, at my school teacher let it slide and in adulthood it seems totally acceptable to make jokes, hell, it's even acceptable to broadcast 'jokes' like these on TV.
Emma – I think a big problem is that it's not seen as bullying. It's just one big 'hilarious' joke.
Thanks for all your comments
x
I think it's absolutely disgusting that people are getting away with these cruel jokes. You are what you are, why the bloody hell can't people accept that and move on? There are some very small minded individuals in the world aren't there. I was a red head for three years and loved my hair. I am brown naturally but my favourite colour is red. I'm now black incidentally! Colour, disability, age, it's all a big joke. And Tesco should indeed be ashamed of themselves. But, I add, I think that's typical of Tesco, a huge enterprise who get away with murder anyway.
CJ xx
My stepdaughter has the same colouring as Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud, which I think is stunning. When the sun used to hit her hair it was magical. I kept saying to her how people pay a fortune to have their hair to look like yours – Nicole Kidman is actually NOT a red head! Yet now she is 14 she has dyed it peroxide blond. Her father is devastated. Such a shame but she just didn't want to be 'different'.
CJ – There certainly are alot of smallm inded people. And I agree discrimination, whatever it is about is small minded. I expect Tesco are loving the publicity.
Mummy Bear – It's those early teenage years that are the most perilous. You're so self aware and the need to blend in and 'be perfect' is so great. Maybe one day she'll realise that her red hair could be her crowning glory that sets her apart in a positive way rather than feeling she wants to hide it.
xxx
My little Sam has ginger hair – or red as it is referred to over here in Ireland. He thankfully has the most amazing personality so I hope he will be able to brush off any teasing, but I must admit I am a little worried. Perhaps it will be a easier for him being a red head in Ireland as red is a much more common hair colour over here – still the brunt of jokes though. God love him it's also madly curly!
HCM – I bet he looks like a little angel! I ALWAYS wanted curly hair when I was growing up
. I hope he does have an easier time. So sad that we worry over something that shouldn't even register.
x
Very angry to read about this card. On a TV report yesterday, a woman said that if this card was making a joke about someone's skin, gender or religion, it would be banned.
As far as I know, the card's been withdrawn. I'm shocked that it was produced in the first place.
I come from a family of proud redheads (mine is black but goes red in strong sunlight). Sadly the gene appears to have died out and none of the children of my cousins and I have come out red which is an utter shame.
Growing up my best friend had the most beautiful red hair and like you say people just thought they could verbally abuse her because she had red hair. When she moved the US she was amazed at the love and adoration her hair suddenly got and it gave her a vast amount more confidence in herself.
If someone was of an ethnic minority and had those things said to them they'd be in front of the police – why any different for the redheads of our country? We should be proud of them!
Well as you know Joseph has the brightest ginger hair you ever did see, not sure where he gets it from as both me and t'husband have mousey brown hair. We use the term ginger as it blatantly isn't strawberry blond, although Joseph describes his hair as 'orange'.
It pains me that it's something that he could be picked on for, especially as he is already being bullied (in a 3 year old way) for being an odd one out in not being Catalan. Fingers crossed that so far it has only been revered and admired and I've never heard a nasty comment about his hair, long may it continue.
I don't understand why it's acceptable for people to jibe others on their hair colour. Weight, colour, religion, sexual persuasion etc are all taboo so why is hair colour any different. Bullying is bullying regardless of the reason!
As the partner of a redhead and consequently the father of a flaming haired son (he describes it as 'orange') I can get quite bolshy about this and I do agree with an earlier comment suggesting a link with prejudice against the Irish. Rant on – prejudice of any kind is not acceptable. Well, unless it's prejudice against the prejudice.
"Duracell", "Carrot Top", "Red Indian"… I can still hear it now. I too was bullied at school because of something that is a part of nature… it took me ten years to learn to like my hair after that. I still feel shy in large groups and feel that everything I say is going to be laughed at. Being bullied was the worst thing I have ever experienced in relation to confidence building.
I really enjoyed your blog post. Well done for putting it out there.
Rebecca
Shocked at the Tesco story. You should email your blog post to their press office. That'll make them think about withdrawing it everywhere…..
and yes, there is absolutely no excuse for bullying of people with red hair. Why is it any different from victimising people according to their skin colour?
[previous comment deleted due to ridiculous spelling erros! please forgive me!]
::hugs::
When I was little my hair was strawberry blonde, as I got older it became more and more auburn, which in the US was considered beautiful.
Growing up I was always jealous of my second-cousins who had redder hair than I did.
It's a horrible cultural thing on the British Isles that discrimination of the basis of hair colour is allowed to continue!
I think your hair is beautiful! =)
Oh god I nodded along the whole way through this article! I'm an auburn colour now, but I was born with very 'ginger' curly hair.
Whilst my mum said she used to get lots of compliments from passers by when she took me and my sister out, I did have to deal with a fair amount of bulling at school for my hair colour.
Even in the last year, I've heard so many people say things like "oh god, I'd hate to have a ginger child". You wouldn't say anything so rude about another race, so why is it ok to say it about a hair colour?
The best thing is when the joker turns to you and says "oh, but you're not a 'real' ginger"
Funnily enough, it's now mainly women that make these kind of comments, when it was boys at school that used to make them!
My husband is brown haired and I'm blonde. Both my children have red hair. The only comments I've encountered so far have been positive for example "hasn't she got beautiful hair" just in the supermarket a few days ago.
But I worry about the future and every time ginger "jokes" come on the TV I bristle. I'm disgusted with that Tesco card, so much so I gasped out loud.
That Tesco card was absolutely disgusting! If that had been something about the colour of someones skin…well it just wouldn't happen would it? So why is hair colour any different! I wrote a similar post because I too was bullied because of my hair colour. It's really an outrage that people still go on about red hair in such a negative way!
My Dad has red hair and so do my children (I am blonde, husband has brown hair – the ginger gene must have been strong!). People in the street have commented on the lovely colour of my children's hair and not once has anyone said anything bad. Some people have made stupid ginger jokes but I ignore them. I do think the Tesco card that is on display to adults and children alike is just making the bullying of anyone for being 'different' in some way more acceptable. Call it PC gone mad if you will but as others have said, if that card had said 'even the foreign ones' or something similar, there would have been a huge uproar.
I was brought up in Ireland and like others have said, I think by and large it's a non issue. I know some absolutely stunning looking people with red hair and they wear it proud. School is not an easy place – it only takes one dipstick who has learnt prejudice from their parents to teach their peers that there is 'something wrong' when there isn't. I also agree that it is partly to do with a hangover of class issues, however I also feel that it's part of a British culture of casual racism and prejudice. Obviously there is nothing remotely 'casual' about someone making these comments but there is a culture here of saying things under the veil of a joke. I'm living her nearly 9 years and I never fail to be shocked at how people are quick to run their mouthes and claim humour here. The card is in bad taste and I guess it goes to show that that as a society we really have to examine how we're making up the rules to suit ourselves. At the end of the day, people who find that card funny only find it funny because they are not the object of the joke. If they spent even a day being something that can be targetted, they would say different.
When my daughter was born, much to our surprise she had red hair. (My husband is blonde and I have brown hair). If you both you and your husband carry the red hair gene, there's a 1 in 4 chance your child will end up with red hair!
I did actually feel for her the minute she was born as even then it concerned me she will be bullied when she grows up, despite her hair being a gorgeous colour. Kids will pick on the slightest little thing.
I have to admit I don't like it when people say she's got ginger hair
Jonathan – I was shocked too!
Liz VP – It is such an intrinsically British prejudice and an odd one at that. Even if your children don't have red hair they might carry the gene. I was a surprise!
VBH – Joseph does have beautiful hair indeed. I wish red hair recieved the same reaction in the UK as it does in Spain. Also, sending Joseph a ((Big Hug)).
Dadwhowrites – Bolshy, yep me too. It's so frustrating. I expect you're right about the old Irish prejudice and this being the evolution of that.
Rebecca – Sorry you were bullied. I was shy and hated my hair too. I now love it but it was a long road and I still feel embarrassed saying it!
Nappy Valley Girl – I reckon Tesco have been inundated with complaints. I've heard Moonpig.com carry it too but haven't checked it out yet.
Erin – It is ridiculous that such a prejudice is accepted. Your hair is beautiful too!
Em – I do get compliments too but sometime feel they're out of pity. Especially when at the hairdressers, it's like it's scripted LOL! Women can be very cruel but I get it from men too, especially when I worked in a pub.
Helen – I was the shock redhead too
. Genuine compliments are lovely. I secretly love it when someoine coos over my babies. I bristle at jokes on TV too and when I saw the story about the card I was utterly gobsmacked.
Laura C – It is an outrage. I've read comment elsewhere about how we need to get a sense of humour about it. Errr, I do have a sense of humour anf prejudice and bullying isn't funny.
Clareybabble – I'm so glad that so many people have said their children have had positive comments. Long may it continue. I wonder if the card manufacturers are ashamed or revelling in the free publicity?
Natalie – I totally agree that prejudice is learned behavior and is so easily passed through generations.
Janine – It's funny, I'd usually say I'm a redhead. I suppose ginger does carry negative connotations because of this odd prejudice and needlessly so.
Thanks for all your comments.
x
I knew I'd seen the card somewhere before – it was on Moonpig!
Oh, wow. I didn't realize the prejudice against redheads was so strong in the UK! And the card, "even ginger kids?" WTF??? Yeah, I'd be offended. I've seen the Catherine Tate "Ginger Refuge" skit (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUhLIjlTNSk) but thought it was exaggerated for humor more than it apparently is.
I'm in the U.S., and I've never gotten teased about my red hair. Usually it's compliments. Someone even asked what color the box said. I was happy to tell them it was my color.
Seriously, come to the other side of the pond! We'll love your hair and your accent!
Cecilia
My 7yr old is auburn in colour. My 5yr old is bright red (although, he calls it orange – which it is more like) and the 2yr old is kind of blonde with a slight auburn tinge to it.
Sor far, so good. They get a lot of positive comments on it, and the 5yr old, who has the brightest red, absolutely LOVES his hair. In fact, when he heard a child will start at his school next year with the same name as his, his first concern was. "What if he has orange hair like me? Then I won't be special!"
I'm enjoying the positive outlook he has on his hair while it lasts! He feels special right now. And I hope that continues.
I know other girls who had red hair in school who were teased. I never understood why. I was blonde and I thought their hair was far more interesting! Funny I ended up with red heads!
Great post. Thanks! x
I wish you would have spent some of your youth in America as they love red heads there,and they became more popular after Little Orphan Annie. This is a British thing. I did not understand how serious the sentiment was until I read your post. I had a collegue that I got on quite well with, who once made a derogatory remark about Ireland and catholics and redheads. I was shocked. It just goes to show that prejudice is learned. Excellent post.
I love red hair – I've been dark, blonde and auburn over the years, and love being an auburn red head most of all!
I was going to say what April said… because I love Tim Minchin. And I would love nice hair no matter what colour!
As a 58 year old former red-head now turned white/grey, could I please urge all fellow red-heads not to allow ginger insults to upset you. You only give power to your would be tormentors by taking their jibes seriously. It's true that many people claim not to find red hair attractive, but be assured, as many or more people are attracted by it to the point of it being for them, a fettish.
However, I realize that red haired children on their own in the playground will almost inevitably have to endure an uncomfortable or even difficult time until they learn to appreciate their own beauty. If this childhood initiation ritual, doesn't destroy their confidence for ever, it can give strength and independence. I had enough relatives telling me how lucky and beautifull I was to be blessed with the red hair gene to make me proud.
I had more of a problem accepting my white skin. No one ever told me this was beautiful until adulthood. I remember as a ten year old, coating my arms and legs with a thin film of brown shoe polish in an attempt to blend in with my tanned class mates. This is as pitiful as some black people feeling they must bleach their own skin.
I discovered that it was, ironically, often those same 'white' people that used to make derogatory comments about non-white people that would be the ones ridiculing my complexion. I have never experienced any such offensive comments from black or brown people; on the contrary, it has often been black people that have expressed admiration and attraction for me partly because of my so very white skin.
So for all you whiteys out there, forget the sunbed, you are more sexually attractive than you realize. Plenty of people are going nuts for a taste of you.