My boy isn’t in the best of spirits of late. Aside from his current nasty bout of conjunctivitis and fever, he’s been sleepwalking, screaming and shouting in his sleep. On Wednesday and Thursday nights I slept on his floor under a blanket just so I could be on hand when the ‘fun’ began.
He doesn’t remember the episodes. He shouts and screams and lashes out, kicking and scratching, often telling me to get off the tracks (he often dreams about trains), then I’ll coax him to lie down and as soon as his head hits the pillow he’s snoring again like nothing happened.
It can be quite disturbing to watch.
There is obviously something un-settling him. I’ve been speaking to him recently about my impending return to work, so I suspect it may well be that. He’s been quite clingy, wanting extra cuddles and telling me he loves me a thousand times a day, which is just so adorable but I know it’s symptomatic of what’s going on in his little mind.
I’m not sure what I can do to help him. I never wake him. I just try to coax him back to bed a gently as I can and hold him until he’s thrashed it all out. I’ve had a few slaps, kicks and scratches for my efforts but I can’t tell him off when he has no idea what he’s doing.
I’m hoping that this phase passes soon and that he can verbalise his fears. His language is peppered with words like ‘scared’ and ‘stupid’ and he often shouts at his toys during imaginative play. I guess at 3 years old it’s hard to express an emotion like worry.
In the meantime I’m going to give him all the love and attention I can and hope that soon, for all our sakes, we can tame these night terrors and he starts sleeping through the night again.
How do your children cope with worry? Do your children suffer from nightmares too?
I’d be interested to hear how you coped.
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Mine stay up half the night, then get up every time they are roused slightly from sleep, standing wobbling in the doorway saying ‘I’m scared’ but clearly half asleep…or my eldest does. Youngest gets angry – lots of yelling at sister and father (i escape it somehow) and upset over very little things…its hard – even when they are older for them to tell the difference between nervous and scared and just a bad feeling which is generally anger…am up to the professional help stage. I think your little one will be just fine – its big and scary for him but you are doing all the right things. Lucky boy to have such a caring mum.
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The shouting and lashing out is the worst bit
. He does tend to be quite pendantic about things being done in a certain way through the day sometimes too.
It’ll pass….soon I hope.
This must be so worrying for you – not to mention adding to sleep deprivation! It really does sound like you’re doing all the right things. I have read that night terrors are not always connected to anxiety though – you would think so, but they can be just a stage – unwelcome though that is- but don’t immediately think it’s because he’s worried about you going back to work or something like that. But obviously you know your little boy best. When my son was about 6 my husband and I were going through a really difficult time and although we tried to keep it from him and not argue in front of him, he obviously picked up on the tension in the house and it manifested itself in a form of OCD – making sure his slippers were lined up, having his toys at certain angles etc. It was heartbreaking and we felt absolutely dreadful that we’d caused this. As things improved and we reassured him, it vanished. But if he is ever worried, it starts to come back.
I think it’s the parental guilt thing that makes me wonder if it’s me going back to work that’s causing it. I’m fairly certain it’ll pass.
Funny how stress can manifest itself in different ways. They pick up more than we realise I think. Did you see a doctor for the OCD behaviour?
I did talk about it with my doctor as I was so worried and thought he’d have to see a counsellor or something but she said give it time, reassurance, and it will go of its own accord. It was him trying to order his world when things felt out of control. A horrible time.
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I also have a 3yr old little boy, and to date, we havent had to endure this ‘phase’ yet, and i hope we don’t have to, so, unfortunately, dont have any ‘tried & tested’ suggestion.
However, i have heard a few friends talking about using ‘monster spray’, (if monsters are the issue. You could always rename it once the reason for waking up is established/guessed at!) which is basically just water in a spray bottle & you spray it in the room whenever it is needed.
I hope you get a good nights sleep soon,
J, xx
Someone else suggested monster spray to me too. I think we’ll be giving it a whirl if it continues.
My 3 year old has nightmares, she cries and cries and is inconsolable I just have to sit it out. Sometimes I wake her to tell her it is just a dream and then she goes back to sleep. My eldest did this for a while too, but it stopped eventually. I don’t know if it is just a developmental stage where they are developing so fast they have information overload. My little one uses the word scared a lot too, but it is usually just to stop watching something her elder sister is watching. I am sure it will pass.
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I’m hoping this will pass soon. I want my sleep monster back!
I think you’re most probably right about the information overload. He’s so active during the day, physically and mentally, it’s gotta have an impact somewhere I guess.
Oh that sounds really tough. Your right, when your 3 I guess its difficult to understand let alone vocalise your fears and worries so it makes sense it would come out in his dreams. As everybody has said before me it sounds like your doing all the right things, and I know from this and all your other posts that your a great mum!
life is full of the unknown and new experiences and as your little man gets used to each different one it will all get less daunting, oh and P.S how cute is he in him pj’s ?! too cute!
My first two suffered from night terrors. My 6yo seemed to have them longer than my almost 8yo did. I could settle him back quite quickly though. I would just soothingly say, “It’s ok. Mummy’s here. You’re ok,” over and over again until he settled. But I’m not sure it worked, or was just a timing thing. The 6yo always seemed to be searching for something in his bed. He’d be feeling around. Strange.
I always found the 6yo seemed to have his when he was a little too warm. He always seemed to be sweaty whenever he’d have one.
So far (touch wood) the 3yo hasn’t started. Fingers crossed he skips it!
Good luck with your little one.
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