As a motherless mother I sometimes struggle with motherhood.
With that precious maternal love missing from my own life since I was just 5 years old, I often question my ability to simply be a mum. It can be hard to know how to be a mother when you can’t remember how you yourself were mothered.
There’s no mum on the end of the phone with advice, no memories to recall of how your mum would’ve reacted or handled a situation. You have to put your trust in good old ‘maternal instinct’, follow your gut and pray that you’re doing it ‘the right way’.
My biggest fear is that one day I might leave my children behind to live their lives without me. That they might have to figure out the world without a mother too, and find themselves scouring for clues in old photographs and second hand memories as to if they bear any resemblance to me. It makes me sick to my stomach with worry, even though I’m here and well and very much alive.
So all I can do is my best, and be proud that these two beautiful, happy, funny, occasionally challenging and above all, loving children are mine, now and forever.
_________________________________________________________________
This post was written for The Gallery at Sticky Fingers. Both these photographs were taken by my lovely long suffering husband.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Aww, just beautiful xx
We often take for granted so many precious things in our lives… and do not realize how rich we are.
awwwww what a lovely post x x x x bought tears to my eyes x x x x x
you are a wonderful mother with two wonderful children x x x x x x
gorgeous photos x x x x x x x
Love those photos!
Susie recently posted..Laundry Like Life Is Full Of Surprises: Some Better Than Others
I a mother of a one year old often think of how much i took my mother for granted as i grew up, and still do as i call her at the first sign of a crying bout, or a rash or a sniffle. I cannot imagine my motherhood without her, and i hope that i will never have to. Lovely Post !!!
.. and beautiful pictures
Shafeena recently posted..Motherhood Juggle
Personally I think your instincts are the best thing to rely on. You’re a fantastic mother and they are lovely photos
Priness_L_88 recently posted..Just a Teapot
They are fabulous photos, you all look so happy, go with your instincts you are brilliant, just look how happy the children are, they glow
Jen.
@jencull (Jen) recently posted..Not a morning person!
My mum has early onset dementia, so as I approach the birth of baby number one i find myself longing for my mother’s wisdom and wondering how i’ll tell my children about their granny…it’s really tough. Your post made me smile, because it shows how well a woman can do without that wisdom and gives me hope that i might just be ok!
H recently posted..Playing Auntie
Lovely post! Def hard growing up without a mum.. (been there..), but sounds like you are ontop of it! LOVE the photos. Esp the little tongue
Maggy
maggy, red ted art recently posted..Books x3 – Flat Stanley, The Post Office Book, Kisses from Rosa
They’re lovely photos – I know what you mean about not having a mum to rely on…. I miss being able to just pick up the phone and ask for advice x x
Magic Mummy recently posted..Disaster Strikes….
Lovely happy pictures, your son is so like you!
Julie – Kailexness recently posted..The Gallery – Motherhood
Your post brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. Like yourself, I lost my mum and it’s hard not being able to ask them for advice whenever you are in a fix.
Your photos are beautiful and I just bet you do a grand job and your mum is proud of you x
Beautiful post! You will never leave them evenif you are not here! You will alwyas be part of their lives.
jfb57 recently posted..Swanage on a Sunday
Beautifully written post. I too lost my mum when I was 5. Although I don’t currently have children, I hope to start a family in the future and that is my biggest worry. Nothing to say other than what has already been said but just wanted to say I completely understand where you’re coming from. Your children are beautiful, happy and healthy, a true testament to you being a brilliant mum. They wouldn’t want you to be any different!
Gorgeous photos. We can only do our best and it looks as if you are doing a really good job. x
Rosie Scribble recently posted..This is why we could never appear on Big Brother
Big hug – beautiful post. x
Mwa recently posted..A big day in Belgian politics – with the usual messy results
So cute! You’ve done a good job of figuring out all this mum stuff.
Smitten by Britain recently posted..Dizzee Rascal, James Corden, U2, Arcade Fire
That’s my biggest fear, too. It terrifies me- but having lived through it, I can only imagine how real it is. Your babies are adorable.
Fab pictures. I’m sure the depth of thought you’ve given it guarantees that you’re a good mum.
Beautiful post, beautiful pictures