For me, however, it’s a whole different kettle of fish…..
Five little inconspicuous letters.
One unattainable daydream.
I struggle to sleep. Those illusive eight hours of blissful relaxation escape me, nightly. It’s been this way my entire adult life. My head buzzes with snowballing thoughts that I find impossible to tame. I lie awake ’til dawn then often ‘collapse’ into an exhaustion induced fit of sleep only to be rudely awoken by small people needing to be fed and watered. How very dare they…..
I had expectations that motherhood would cure this damned insomnia. I thought maybe my brain might decide that extra responsibility equalled extra sleep. Nope. Not on your nelly. In fact, hell, why not try less. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?
Inexplicably (and thankfully) I have bred champion sleepers. My two ‘sleep thieves’ both slept through the night from being a few weeks old (Ouch! Stop slapping me!) If there were medals, they would win gold. Granted there have been times when they have woken in the night and needed me, but those times are few and far between.
I’ve tried all sorts in my quest for sleep. Warm baths, hot milk, chamomile tea, cutting out caffeine, listening to music, reading, herbal tablets (hallucinations anyone?), relaxation techniques, lavender pillow spray, only going to bed when tired, getting up if not tired, writing thoughts down, not eating late at night, blah blah blah……
I am yet to find a solution. Actually, that’s not strictly true. I recently found that pear cider and sleeping on an airbed 200 miles from home offered a reprieve. This, of course, is totally impractical as an everyday solution and would possibly involve bankruptcy and alcoholism.
My essential survival tactic is to teach the children the art of the lie in. They wake, have breakfast then we retreat back to my bed for long lazy cuddles. The mass mid morning nap is the only way I get through some days. It’s not an everyday occurrence, just reserved for those days when I am beyond exhaustion. I am endlessly proud of my trainee lazy bones.
I guess until the children are older, and I can rein in my crazy just a little, I am headed for a few sleepless nights yet. And, without a doubt, those beautiful children are worth every single millisecond of wakeful worry.
So, if I call you the wrong name, lose my thread mid sentence or completely forget random words, please forgive me.
In the meantime all I can do is daydream about sleep. I’ve survived so far…….